More light!

I finally continued reading Les Bienveillantes (I didn't have any time to read in the weeks before Christmas), and I came to a sentence that made me squee so much I almost fainted. Eichmann describes Heydrich as "un homme qui souffrait dans son coeur", literally "a man who suffered in his heart". So, Linny freaks out and wants to cuddle and hug Littel for knowing what he's writing about and not writing some crap about Heydrich being an emotionless machine. I do what I usually do when I have a fit of fangirling, I call assassin-nariel, who read the book in German. Curious, I ask her how they translated this. She looks it up and tells me that the German version says: "ein Mann mit großem Einfühlungsvermögen", which basically means "a man with great empathy" (Einfühlungsvermögen and empathy aren't exactly the same thing, but close enough).

WHAT THE FUCK????

Now, I'm sorry, but the translation doesn't have ANYTHING to do with the original. The original sentence could have been translated literally into German and would have been perfect. Or, if the translator didn't want that, it could have been rephrased in a way that's still close to the original meaning. But what's up with this so-called translation that doesn't even come close to the French version, no matter how you interpret it? I am so angry. We're talking about a professional translator here, shouldn't he, I don't know, at least understand French and not butcher the meaning? I'm tempted to write that guy a letter and ask what the hell he was thinking. Seriously, I could have done a better job than that and I'm NOT a professional who gets paid for it. I can't even imagine any justification for this shit. I just hope the rest of the translation is better.

On a lighter note, this passage kills me. In a good way. It's so simple, and clear, and true, and beautiful:
"En travaillant, je pensais : au fond, le problème collectif des Allemands, c'était le même que le mien ; eux aussi, ils peinaient à s'extraire d'un passé douloureux, à en faire table rase pour pouvoir commencer des choses neuves. C'est ainsi qu'ils en étaient venus à la solution radicale entre toutes, le meurtre, l'horreur pénible du meurtre. Mais le meurtre était-il une solution ? Je pensais aux nombreuses conversations que j'avais eues à ce sujet : en Allemagne, je n'étais pas le seule à douter. Et si le meurtre n'était pas une solution définitive, et si au contraire ce nouveau fait, encore moins réparable que les précédents, ouvrait à son tour de nouveaux abîmes ? Alors, que restait-il comme issue ?"

(Rough translation, it's 5am and I'm too tired to think about details, but it's probably still better than the crap this [insert vulgar insults] wrote: "While I was working I was thinking: deep down, the Germans' collective problem was the same as my own ; they too had trouble finding their way out of a painful past, making a clean sweep to be able to start something new. That's how they had arrived at the most radical solution, murder, the painful horror of murder. But was murder a solution? I thought of all the conversations I had had about this subject : I wasn't the only one to doubt, in Germany. What if murder wasn't a conclusive solution, what if, on the contrary, this new fact, even more irreparable than the previous ones, opened a new abyss? What other way out could there be, then?"
Again, this doesn't do the original any justice; if anyone has the original English translation (which is hopefully good), please tell me. Also, tell me if this doesn't make any sense. I'm too annoyed to concentrate and ponder about tiny little nuances between almost synonymous words. Seriously, translating "pénible" into English is tricky, too tricky to deal with it now.)

Hope you guys all had a nice Christmas or whatever else you're celebrating, undisturbed by stupid translators. :)

Title: Freedom and Necessity
Author:linndechir 
Fandom: Inglourious Basterds
Pairings: Stiglitz/Hicox, Hellstrom/Stiglitz
Rating: R
Words: 2400
Warning: hand porn, mild dub-con
Summary: “None of us is really free to do what we want to do, Hugo.”
Author’s note: This was written for the Secret Hanukkah fic exchange on 100_scalps . mezzafredda  asked for a hand fetish fic featuring Hicox, preferably with Aldo or Hugo. Hellstrom just insisted on sneaking in there to lend two more pretty hands. Thanks to onjuistheid  for helping me with the ending.



( Freedom and Necessity )

This is ALMOST getting funny. After quoting Hegel, my dearest character sent character B into some angsting fit because he told him to use his first name. I'm still NOT writing about Landa. Then, out of nowhere, a daddy kink metaphor appeared, with a character I didn't know had a daddy kink. I'm not sure what this is doing in my fic. But, hey, I've gone from frustrated and unable to write anything to finding it all very amusing. Maybe because a friend saw the beginning yesterday and said it was not as horrifying as I thought. Maybe because it's SNOWING!!!! I love snow. :) After five years in France, I'm not used to cold German winters anymore, but the snow and the wonderfully cold air are worth freezing a little bit. As soon as my Hanukkah fic is finished, I want to reward myself by writing some shamelessly kinky fluff about Landa warming Dieter's feet. Yeah. C'mon, don't tell me you don't want to see Landa kissing Dieter's feet. I know I do, and I don't even have a foot kink.

To make this pointless entry at least a bit entertaining ... Hans-Joachim Marseille approves of this plane:

( LOL Luftwaffe )

This is getting fucking frustrating! Everyone around me is posting their Hanukkah fics, and my stupid fic still refuses to get written. Even the first draft isn't finished, because whenever I try to work on it, it gets more fucked up. First, I made the participating characters even more insane than they already are. Then, I decided to use flashbacks - I HATE flashbacks, I've never written any because I hate reading them, but my brainless fic idea only works with flashbacks. And as if all that wasn't bad enough, one of my characters suddenly started quoting Hegel. WHAT THE FUCK??? I'm not even writing about Landa, for God's sake! I'm starting to think that I should delete the whole thing and start anew, but I have honestly no better idea for the prompt I was given than the one I'm using now. It's actually a good idea, I think, except that it's so weird that it only makes sense in my brain, but not when I write it. Whatever, I'll just pretend my lack of sense and clarity is artistic and mysterious and complex. Or something. I just want to write something better than pointless porn with the pairing and the kinks my giftee asked for. :(
The worst thing is that I waited so long to write this because when I came up with this idea weeks ago, I was sure that I could easily write it down in two days, and voilà. But, no, everything always turns out to be ten times more complicated.
Why the fuck is he quoting Hegel? Seriously, Hegel? In bed? Not even IB characters should be so fucked up that they start lecturing their partner on philosophy and freedom during sex. *smashes head against the wall*

This entry contains historical nazi slash. If you find that offensive, disgusting, or otherwise objectionable, I suggest you do not read this entry. That way everyone's happy. :)


Title: Carve Your Name In Me
Author: linndechir
Fandom: Inglourious Basterds X real history
Pairing: Heydrich/Hellstrom/Landa
Rating: R
Words: 1108
Warning: This fic features not only our dearest fictional Nazis, but also a very real one. If you find that offensive, you should not read this. Nor should you lecture me about why I shouldn’t write such things. Thank you. :)
Author’s note: I am not to be blamed for this. I was confronted with mental images I could not resist. PWP.



( Carve Your Name In Me )

Title: Rest
Author: linndechir
Fandom: Inglourious Basterds
Pairing: Landa/Hellstrom
Rating: PG-13
Words: 1890
Warning: fluff
Summary: Even Landa and Hellstrom need to rest and relax occasionally.
Author’s note: Apparently, Hellstrom’s pomade is very difficult to wash out. Also, apparently August Diehl likes it when people do his hair. I wondered whether the same was true for Dieter … and this is what happened. This one-shot does not follow the storyline of La musica delle parole; I’m just saying this to avoid confusion. By the way, part 3 of La musica will probably be written before the end of the month, if anyone is still waiting for the sequel.


( Rest )

( Picspam part two )

Last night I finally got around to watching Der neunte Tag (The ninth day). I wanted to watch it because, well, it's with August Diehl and he plays a Gestapo officer. Of course I was curious if this Untersturmführer Gephardt (poor guy doesn't even get a first name) was anything like Hellstrom. Well, very rarely he reminded me of him, but they don't really have much in common, which is fascinating. Unlike Hellstrom, Gephardt is a convinced national-socialist, but what makes him so fascinating is that he's also a devout Catholic who studied theology and almost became a priest. Since the other main character is a priest (called Kremer) who criticises the nazi regime, they spend most of the film talking about politics, faith, and religion, and if that sounds boring to you, you underestimate August Diehl.

The movie itself is in my opinion not all that good, the plot is rather poor, especially at the ending. But Gephardt is an extremely intriguing character, with this weird mixture of national-socialism and faith, he's intelligent and charismatic, he's a man of principles, someone who has firm beliefs and wants to change the world, but he's also short-tempered, even violent. It's a pity that the movie focuses more on the priest than on Gephardt, because in my opinion Gephardt is by far the more interesting character.

To make it short: watch this movie right now, ignore the poor plot, and focus on an absolutely breath-taking acting performance and a character who needs some fanfiction. I really want to write about him. Yay, one more nazi character in my head. Exactly what I needed right now. -.-

So, enough babbling, here we go for a HUGE picspam, which will hopefully convince you more than my words ever could. I made ... you won't believe it, 500 screencaps. Then I cut it down to 100. Then I took out another few, but I really couldn't go under 50, or else I would have had to take out really gorgeous pics I need to share with you. So, I decided to make two parts, but they'll both be pretty big as well, but I suppose you guys won't mind getting many pictures. Right? :)


( Picspam part one )

OMFG I SAW AUGUST DIEHL!!!! I talked to him! Squeeee!!!!

Yesterday I went to see "A Moon for the Misbegotten" by Eugene O'Neill here in Berlin. Starring ... August Diehl, his father (Hans Diehl), his wife (Julia Malik) and two other actors I don't know. The ticket was a birthday present by the amazing wickedground and assassin_nariel , who both went there with me. Thanks again, you have no idea how happy this made me. :)

( Rant and pictures behind the cut )

Oops, I almost forgot about this. Stole this meme a while ago, even answered the questions, and then forgot to post them. -.- This is how it's supposed to work:

( Meme )


Enough procrastination for today. Landa/Hellstrom fluff demands to be written!

"Et c'est ainsi, le cul encore plein de sperme, que je me résolus à entrer au Sicherheitsdienst."
"And thus, with my arse still full of sperm, I decided to join the Sicherheitsdienst."
- Jonathan Littel, Les Bienveillantes

OMFG THIS BOOK IS MADE OF FUCKING WIN!!!! Oh GOD!

Okay, I admit it, I only read 100 of the 1300 pages so far, and maybe it's going to suck after 300 pages, because there aren't many authors who can write good books of this length. Far too often it gets boring and repetitive after a few hundred pages. But the beginning is amazing. For those of you who've never heard of it, Les Bienveillantes (English title: The Kindly Ones, which sounds stupid), is the memoirs of a fictitious SS-officier named Maximilien Aue, written by an American author who's writing in French. It's weird to read about Nazis speaking French all the time, honestly. oO Still, Aue is as gay as you can possibly get. 100 pages and already two graphic slash scenes, not to mention this amazing sentence I quoted above (the English translation is by me, I was too lazy to look up how it was really translated). Context? Right after he had some random boy fuck him, his future BFF convinces him to join the SD. Not to mention that his name is Max (like Stierlitz!), he smokes all the fucking time (like Stierlitz, and like Hellstrom!), he's gay and such a sub, and he has a best friend on whom he seems to have a total crush. Well, not crush, but he wants to do him. Not to mention the countless mentions of Heydrich and Schellenberg being suspiciously good friends - this book does not help my recent fascination with historical slash. Bad brain, very very bad! And there I thought it couldn't possibly get worse!
What I really want to say, though, is the following: read this book. I shouldn't, because I really don't have the time, but it's just great so far. At least read the first part, Toccata, which is just great, and only fifty pages long. It's worth the time, even if you don't want to read the entire book. Now let's just hope that I won't be disappointed by the rest.

Other news ... I quit my job, because I'm tired of working on every Saturday, and since I don't desperately need the money, why should I keep doing this? It's a pity, it was a nice job, as far as crappy-jobs-for-students-so-I-can-afford-my-decadent-lifestyle go, with nice colleagues and relatively well paid and not far away from where I live, but still. I want a week-end that consists of two days. Even if it means having a bit less money.

Am also neglecting university stuff. Again. This week is going to be stressful. Which also means that I probably won't post a new fic too soon, but I'll do my best. I'm considering to write some Hellstrom/Wicki, set around 1930, which would be very very angsty and tragic and sweet and beautiful and extremely tragic and sad. With obligatory Landa/Hellstrom-references, mind you. ;)

Ooooh, and I bought the most amazing new leather boots! Rawr! Love them! (I should get Hellstrom out of my head when I go shopping ...)

Author's note: I had this really weird assignment for one of my literature classes: we were supposed to write the first page of a novel. About just anything we want. Now usually I can't write like that, but this time Hellstrom just took over my head and I wrote ... about him. Now obviously I didn't mention his name or anything, but every Basterds fan will recognise Major Creeper in this. I'd feel tempted to continue this if I had the slightest idea what was going to happen next. If you have any ideas, let me know. So, yes, while this is not fanfiction in the strictest sense, it is in fact about Major Hellstrom, so I thought people might want to read it.

---------------

Thin fingers pushed up the sleeve of his coat, pale blue eyes glanced at his watch for the first time. His contact was two minutes late.

Nothing unusual about that. It could happen, even to the most reliable people. None of his colleagues would even waste a thought on this.

But the Colonel wouldn’t have sent him, his best man, if this were a situation one of his colleagues could deal with. And he had been long enough in this line of work to trust his instincts - something was amiss.

He was still relaxed, though. He felt the comforting weight of his twin guns in the shoulder-holsters, hidden under his coat, but they were not the reason for his calm. Although he was an excellent shot, he had hardly killed anyone in all these years. At least not personally. He had always relied more on his brain than on his admittedly quick hands. It was more efficient. More cultivated, too. Shooting people made such a mess, it was a task better left to soldiers.

He leant back on the bench, breathing in the fresh spring air. Fumbled for his cigarettes, lit one, and flipped the match to the ground. Took a greedy drag on the cigarette as if he hadn’t had one in days, although the last one had been less than an hour ago. The Colonel always said that he smoked too much. The old dog would look almost concerned then, as if he cared about his well-being. A snort. That manipulative bastard didn’t know any more about affection and caring than he himself did; he simply didn’t want to lose his best man.

Five minutes. The cigarette stub was dropped to the ground and crushed beneath a boot heel. Five minutes late. Still within the limits of the acceptable, but bordering on the unusual. People knew better than to be late when dealing with the Colonel.

He sighed. He could be a very patient man, but he hated inaction. The sun had already set before he had arrived, and it was getting cold. Mothers with their children and young couples in summer clothes quickly left the park, laughing, talking, playing. Normal people. A sneer.

He lit another cigarette. He was getting annoyed. Damn it, he wasn’t some messenger boy one could keep waiting in the cold. That contact better had a good excuse when he arrived, or else he would make sure that this scum would meet his less sophisticated colleagues. The ones who thought whips were an appropriate means of communication. His lips curled in disdain. Brutes, but they had their uses.

His eyes darted around, but he didn’t notice anything suspicious. The contact was supposed to find him, not the other way around. The rendezvous point had been unambiguous, there could be no misunderstanding.

Fifteen minutes. The third cigarette. As the stub joined its two brothers on the ground, he got up. He had waited long enough. Nobody was fifteen minutes late on a meeting set up by the Colonel. It meant that things weren’t amiss.

They were really fucked up.

Title: Vater
Author: linndechir
Fandom: Inglourious Basterds
Pairing: Landa/Hellstrom
Rating: PG-13
Warning: daddy kink
Words: 1228
Summary: For Hans Landa, not even love is unselfish.
Author’s note: A while ago I had this idea that Hellstrom had huge daddy issues, and this is just a quick scene I scribbled while I was trying to come up with clear story ideas. I’m definitely planning to make more of the whole daddy kink idea. I’m even considering writing an AU in which Landa actually IS Hellstrom’s father … erm yes … but not here, don’t worry. ;) I apologise for the lame title.

Title: Five Senses - Part Five: Touch
Author: linndechir
Fandom: Inglourious Basterds
Pairing: Hellstrom/Landa
Rating: R
Warning: top!Hellstrom, sub!Landa, hand kink, boot kink, smoking porn
Words: 1744
Author’s note: Finally, the porn! Thanks to assassin_nariel , who came up with the idea for the ending.
Links to part one, part two, part three, part four.


( Part five: Touch )

Title: Five Senses - Part four: Taste
Author: linndechir
Fandom: Inglourious Basterds
Pairing: Hellstrom/Landa
Rating: PG-13
Warning: top!Hellstrom, sub!Landa, hand kink, smoking porn
Words: 818
Links to part one, part two, part three, part five.

( Part four: Taste )

Title: Five Senses - Part three: Smell
Author: linndechir
Fandom: Inglourious Basterds
Pairing: Hellstrom/Landa
Rating: PG-13
Warning: top!Hellstrom, sub!Landa, leather kink, gun porn
Words: 760
Links to part one, part two, part four, part five.


( Part three: Smell )

Title: Five Senses - Part two: Hear
Author: linndechir
Fandom: Inglourious Basterds
Pairing: Hellstrom/Landa
Rating: PG
Warning: top!Hellstrom, sub!Landa, music geekery
Words: 1572
Author’s note: This isn’t really Landa/Hellstrom, it’s Beethoven/Hellstrom with Landa watching. Metaphorically, of course. Warning for shameless music geekery. I couldn’t decide which Beethoven sonata I’d let Hellstrom play; I went for the Appassionata because it’s maybe the one people are most likely to know. If you don’t, listen to it RIGHT NOW. And to all his other piano sonatas. FYI, Bösendorfer is a piano manufacturer, or rather THE piano manufacturer. ;)
Links to part one, part three, part four, part five.


( Part two: Hear )

Title: Five Senses - Part one: See
Author: linndechir
Fandom: Inglourious Basterds
Pairing: Hellstrom/Landa
Rating: PG
Warning: top!Hellstrom, sub!Landa, hand kink, smoking porn
Words: 1021
Author’s note: What Hellstrom is doing in this scene is blatantly stolen from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. Mhmm, Garak and Hellstrom should meet. I don’t think they’d get along, but they’d mindfuck each other to no end.
Links to part two, part three, part four, part five.


( Part one: See )

Title: Oh yes they did
Author:linndechir
Fandom: Inglourious Basterds RPS
Pairing: Christoph Waltz/Eli Roth
Warning: RPS, obviously
Rating: PG
Words: 965
Summary: It is generally a bad idea to put sticky tape on a hairy chest.
Author’s note: For wickedground , because I promised her to write some Christoph/Eli. This is very unpolished, but I didn’t want to keep her waiting even longer than I already did. I apologise for the lack of smut; but my last RPS smut was the biggest pain to write.
Apparently I happily ignored the timeline of the blueberry incidents (I was told that the “I love ONTD”-picture and the boob-pics apparently happened in the same night.). Honestly, I don’t care. Since any RPS fic is sort of an alternate reality anyway, I don’t think it matters much.



( Oh yes they did )

Last week an idea popped up in my head, and I can't stop thinking about it. I was thinking about Hellstrom's background. So far I always thought that he grew up without a father, because he's too awesome to have one. ;) And it only made sense that his father, as a young man in the 1910s, died during WW1, when Hellstrom was still fairly young. Until ... I suddenly realised that, age-wise, Landa could be his father. Usually I just thought of Hellstrom as "the son Landa never had", but who would have been the absolutely perfect son in Landa's eyes. But what if ... what if roughly 18-year-old Landa had an affair with Hellstrom's mother just before she got married to another man? Now, of course, you're going to tell me that it's fairly unlikely, but just bear with me.
The thing is - I’d still ship them in this version. Hellstrom would think that his mother's husband was his father, and Landa would only suspect that Hellstrom might be his son. And I don’t think that would keep Landa from doing him if he wants to. So, yes, what the hell is wrong with me that I want to turn my OTP into an incest pairing? Am  I the only one who finds this thought fascinating? (Probably yes. ;))

I haven’t only been speculating about more Landa/Hellstrom-fics I want to write, though, I’ve also finally written the Christoph/Eli-ficlet I promised wickedground . It’s short, drafty, and generally crappy, but she’s going to kill me if I don’t post something. Should be posted later tonight (I know, technically that will be Wednesday and not Tuesday, but please do forgive me ^^).

And, oh my God, my wrist doesn't hurt! For the first time in four months, IT DOES NOT HURT! Let's just hope it will stay that way  ...